


isak dies at the end

by sundaymournin



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-05 02:41:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17910428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sundaymournin/pseuds/sundaymournin
Summary: “Hello, I’m calling from Death-Cast. I regret to inform you that sometime in the next twenty-four hours you’ll be meeting an untimely death. On behalf of everyone here at Death-Cast, we are so sorry to lose you. Live this day to the fullest, okay?”Death-Cast called Isak Valtersen, because he’s going to die today.





	1. the call

**“Hello, I’m calling from Death-Cast. I regret to inform you that sometime in the next twenty-four hours you’ll be meeting an untimely death. On behalf of everyone here at Death-Cast, we are so sorry to lose you. Live this day to the fullest, okay?”**

 

> **03:06**

 

Death-Cast called Isak Valtersen, because he’s going to die today.

 

He wasn’t asleep when he got the call, but the ringtone had shocked him. He’d answered quickly, so the rest of the flat didn’t hear, and the person on the phone was sympathetic enough when they learned he was only seventeen. 

 

Isak had read plenty of horror stories about representatives calling and being rude, trying to get off the phone as quickly as possible and move on. But the man on the other end had paused when he’d read Isak’s age. That didn’t make him feel any better, obviously, but he was pretty sure he’d feel worse if they’d been rude. 

 

“Sorry to lose you.” The guy had said when he’d hung up. The words hung in the air, echoing through Isak’s head. _ Sorry to lose you. _ He was going to be lost today. He was going to stop existing. He was going to be gone and the world was going to keep spinning without him and there absolutely fuck all he could do about it. 

 

You can’t cheat the Death-Cast. You can’t call their bluff. They always knew when people were going to die, without a doubt. If you tried to stay inside all day and avoid it, a bomb would go off in your building. If you tried to run, an train would hit your car. You did not get out of death. It was inescapable. 

 

Isak was going to die. Period. 

 

There was a part of him that wanted go wake Eskild up and tell him. But he knew that wouldn’t be kind. 

 

When Noora had left the room to him, she left that annoying paper stuck to the wall that ordered kindness out of him. And as much as he’d like to claim it didn’t get to his head, it did. Especially when it came to Eskild and Linn. And Noora herself, who he could hear talking on the phone out in the living room. 

 

If he could hear her, he realized, she probably heard the Death-Cast ringtone. She probably knew.

 

Isak got out of bed and started throwing his clothing into the laundry hamper, before realizing his mistake. He was never going to get the chance to do this laundry. It would just stink up the room until someone (Noora) decided to do something with it. But half of the things in it belonged to Jonas, so instead Isak pulled a suitcase out from under his bed and threw them all in there. Then he folded up his duvet and cleaned up the rest of the room as much as possible without actually leaving it. 

 

He was still wearing Eskild’s jesus shirt, and he knew he should take it off. If he died in that shirt, Eskild would never see it again. But he didn’t want to just yet. The second Isak took it off and put it back in his room, Eskild would know something was wrong and Isak didn’t think he could handle that conversation.

 

After everything Eskild had done for him, Isak was just going to die. Nothing the man had done for him would ever pay off. Isak didn’t really know what he thought was going to happen, what big change he thought was going to come, but he kind of always thought he’d be able to pay Eskild back for all the kindness. 

 

Like, maybe Isak could’ve taken what the wall said to heart. Maybe one day he’d be able to be there for Eskild the way Eskild was there for him. But… no. 

 

That wasn’t going to happen. 

 

Isak sat on his bed, for the last time, because in a few hours he was going to go out there and tell Noora she could have her room back, and he made a list. It wasn’t as if he had lived a really terrible life and had to go around making amends. But there were a few things he wanted to make right before he went. 

 

He didn’t expect a big funeral, or a lot of people mourning him. He wasn’t even sure his parents would host one, but Isak didn’t want to die without fixing things. Without being, maybe, a little more real than he had been. 

 

After the list was done, Isak went online and filled in all of the information they wanted. Except for the inscription on his headstone. He had no idea what he wanted to say, what he wanted people to read about him fifty years down the road. Maybe “Isak Valtersen: He Lived a Lie” or “Isak Valtersen: He Was a Liar” or “Isak Valtersen: A Failure”. 

 

Maybe he had lived a terrible life. He was going to die at some point today without ever letting anyone in his life really, truly get to know him. He was going to die at some point today, and his sister was going to still be out of the country, his father was still going to be an asshole, and his mother was still going to be sick. Jonas, his best friend in the whole world, would one day find out what Isak had done to him. Eva would never truly forgive him. Eskild would never get to see him be a better person.

 

Isak would never fall in love. He’d never graduate. He’d never be a Russ. He’d never leave Oslo. He’d never see the world. He’d never have a future. 

 

But he could fix some things. That was what he was gonna do. 

 

Maybe then his funeral wouldn’t be as tragic. Maybe then they’d have good things to remember, instead of all the bad he’d left them with. It was selfish, to want them to remember him as someone good when he wasn’t, but Isak was human for a few hours longer.

 

Isak cleared his browser history, turned off the password, and set the laptop aside. He wrote on a post-it that Linn could have it. Hers had broken a while back and she hadn’t been able to afford to replace it. He stripped the bed of its sheets and put those in the laundry hamper, because those could be used again. He put a post-it on his suitcase, labeled ‘JONAS’. 

 

He looked in the mirror and considered, once again, taking off the jesus shirt. The night he’d first put it on, he’d thrown up all over himself and had sobbed in the street to Eskild about not wanting to go home. He’d been terrified to face his mother, Jonas. Eskild had saved him then. 

 

He couldn’t do it again this time. 

 

Isake pulled on a grey hoodie overtop the shirt and stepped out of his room. 

 

> **07:01**
> 
>  

Noora was in living room, chatting idly on the phone. Something about William in England and being alone. Dumb stuff that someone who still had life to live could worry about into the early hours of the morning. She hadn’t heard the ringtone then, Isak was sure. When she saw him standing there, Noora sat up and shot him an apologetic look. 

 

“Sorry, did I wake you?” She whispered.

 

He shook his head. “I needed to be up anyway.” 

 

“Oh,” Noora’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. She looked just as exhausted as he must have. Neither of them had been sleeping well lately, but maybe that would get better after today. Maybe when she had a real bed back. She must’ve seen something in his expression because she said, “Eva? Can I call you back later?”

 

Isak shifted, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. “I was thinking… You should have your room back.”

 

“But… you need it?”

 

“Nah,” he shot her a tired smile. “I’ll be okay.” 

 

Noora kept staring at him, as if she was putting the pieces together one by one. Linn and Eskild wouldn’t be up for hours, and if Isak woke them up they would all definitely realize what was happening. He would just have to leave and hope that maybe he’d have enough time to come back later.

 

“Isak-”

 

“I have to head to school,” Isak interrupted.

 

“It’s early.”

 

“I need to talk to Jonas.”

 

Noora got up from where she lay on the couch, eyes searching his. Slowly she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders in a hug. “Do you want some tea first? Breakfast?” 

 

She knew. She knew and she was Noora, so instead of freaking out she was trying to figure out a way to help him and make it easier. 

 

Isak hugged her back briefly, then pulled away. “Not very hungry.” 

 

“Let me wake Eskild,” Noora said, because she was looking out for him too and she knew just as much as Isak did that Eskild would want to say good-bye. 

 

“No,” Isak shook his head. “Let him get his rest. He got in late.” 

 

Noora looked like she wanted to protest, but Isak couldn’t hear it. He turned away from her and hurried out of their front door, down the steps, and out into the newly dangerous streets of Oslo.

 

The tram, the buses, and the subway all seemed so much more frightening. The bikers who sometimes went too fast, the angry businessmen who didn’t want to go to work, the hipsters handing off weed in alleyways. None of it had frightened him yesterday. 

 

Except maybe the trams. A little. 

 

Isak set off towards Nissen, keeping his ears open and trying to stay as alert as possible. When it came time for him to cross over the bridge, he paused. Even that was dangerous, he realized. What if it came loose and fell? It wasn’t a long fall, obviously, but he could hit his head and bleed out before he got across. Before he was able to make it right. 

 

He watched as several people crossed over it without a problem, and shot him dirty looks for standing in the way. 

 

Excuse him if he didn’t want to die next to the Dick Swan. 

 

Isak took a deep breath and followed a guy that was about his size across the bridge, holding the breath in until he reached the other side. He bolted across the street when everyone else walked. He walked through the palace park and underneath the rainbow arch, because he never had and he figured if he was close to the palace the likelihood of him dying went down a bit. 

 

The walk to Nissen had never seemed so frightening. The cars seemed to go too fast past him, the people laughing sounded more sinister. Even the water, far away from him, made him feel a little sick. There were so many ways he could go. So many different factors he had to consider. So many people he had to talk to and make things right with.

 

But he was frozen, staring out at the street. It was only a fifteen minute walk to Nissen. He just needed to last fifteen more minutes, at least, and then he’d be safe for awhile. 

 

His phone went off. Eskild was calling. 

 

Noora must’ve told him, and Linn. Isak’s heart hurt thinking about the three of them opening his bedroom door and finding what he’d left them. Linn, the laptop. Noora, the room. Eskild, nothing. Fuck. Why hadn’t he left anything for Eskild? Why hadn’t he take off the damn shirt and written a note, thanking Eskild for all he’d done? 

 

Isak could very well die on the walk to school and he hadn’t even bothered leaving Eskild a damned note because he was too scared and, once again, too damn selfish. He couldn’t change the kind of person he was in one day. He couldn’t fix it. 

 

He couldn’t even cross the street, leave the palace grounds, because he was so fucking frozen in fear. 

 

_ “Hey, move!”  _

 

And Isak was going to die today.

  
  
  
  
  



	2. are you okay?

 

> **07:32**

 

Death-Cast did not call Even Bech Næsheim, because he is not going to die today. 

 

Although, there were several times in the past he’d tried to prove them wrong. On the days he was so depressed he couldn’t breathe without being in pain, he’d hoped for the call. He’d prayed for the call. He’d begged whatever fates figured out how it worked to put his name on the list. But they never did, and Death-Cast never called, and the hospital visits were always successful in saving his life. 

 

But he wasn’t that depressed. He was low, sure, but he was always kind of low lately. His brain twisted, curling in on him in the most toxic ways. Telling him things that he’d never repeat to another person, and would never say to another person. His therapist told him time and time again that if he wouldn’t say it to another person, he shouldn’t say it to himself.

 

It’s not that easy, though. 

 

Even decided to take the long way to Nissen, because he needed fresh air and to get away from his mother’s prying gaze. She’d been so much more overbearing since Even broke up with Sonja, like  _ that _ was going to be the thing that sent him over the edge into another episode. 

 

It wasn’t, by the way. It was just time. 

 

When Sonja found out he was using the Last Friend app, she was furious. She told him it wasn’t good for him, he shouldn’t involve himself in people’s lives like that. It wasn’t his place. 

 

She didn’t think about how many friend’s Even had made that had died. She definitely didn’t think about if they’d died  _ around _ Even. She didn’t ask if he was okay. She acted as if it was all a game. As if he was looking for something to do and decided to just fuck with people’s lives on their End Day.

 

But that wasn’t why he used the app. 

 

Even had lost his friends, through a series of events he didn’t want to talk about, and the people who used the Last Friend app for good were people who needed a friend. The last person he’d met was someone visiting from America, who had absolutely no one in Norway, and wanted someone to share the day with. If only for a little while. 

 

People used it because they needed help, needed a friendly face, and Even hadn’t wanted to explain that to Sonja because she should’ve understood that. 

 

His mother, obviously, didn’t agree. 

 

They both seemed to think that a bipolar kid shouldn’t be accompanying people who died. They didn’t see how that wasn’t fair, or right. 

 

Hence the early and long walk to school. Anything to get significantly  _ away. _

 

Even crossed under the rainbow arch, because it made him feel a little more calm each time he did it, and headed up the path towards the school. There was someone standing there, fists clenched in a hoodie that definitely wasn’t keeping them warm, and curls that Even had drawn plenty of times in his notebook. 

 

The angel-eque second year from Nissen stood, frozen in the middle of the path and staring out at the road. His shoulders were shaking, like maybe he was crying. 

 

A bicyclist zoomed past Even, which was normal enough but then the back tire popped loudly and she was zig-zagging all over the past and letting out a terrified shout. But the angel boy still didn’t move, almost like he didn’t hear any of the commotion. Even found himself breaking into a run and shouting.

 

“Hey, move!” 

 

The angel boy turned at last second, falling back into the gravel when the bicyclist zoomed past him and flew off her bike, landing in the grass. 

 

“Are you okay?” Even asked, kneeling next to the boy. 

 

He blinked at the girl who’d been on the bike, entirely dazed. “I almost died.” 

 

Even huffed out a laugh. “That’s a bit dramatic.” 

 

The boy looked up at him, his eyes widening when their gazes met. “You.”

 

“Me?” 

 

“You go to my school…” The boy whispered, sitting up and hissing in pain. He pulled up his sleeve and revealed his elbow that was bleeding a little. “Ouch.”

 

Even’s eyebrows pinched together. “You okay?”

 

The boy sat up and tugged his sleeve back down, which wasn’t safe. Even was going to tell him that they should clean it, but the boy wasn’t paying attention to him anymore. Instead, he got up and walked over to the girl who was still laying in the grass. 

 

“Are _you_ okay?” He asked.

 

“Yeah,” she answered, breathlessly. “I have  _ no  _ idea what happened. I’m so sorry.” 

 

The boy shook his head and offered her a hand. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

She smiled at him when he helped her up. “The only reason I wasn’t totally freaking was because I hadn’t gotten the call. I guess it’s kind of useful, right? To know dangerous situations aren’t too bad, because you haven’t gotten the call?” The girl cocked her head to the side and smiled sweetly at him.

 

Even kind of hated her. He was about to tell her just how insensitive, and kind of shitty, that statement was when the angel boy spoke up.

 

“Totally.” 

 

Okay, maybe Even kind of hated him, too.

 

“I’m Emma.”

 

“Isak.” The angel scratched the back of his head and turned away from her, clearly uninterested in whatever flirting the Emma wanted to do at seven in the morning. 

 

Even bit back a victorious smile and follow Isak as he walked back to the edge of the walkway, near the street and away from the girl entirely. “Are you going to cross?” 

 

Isak flinched. “Yes.”

 

They stood there through the beeping signifying they were allowed to cross, until it stopped. 

 

“When?”

 

“Soon,” Isak said. 

 

Even glanced down at him, chewing the inside of his cheek. Something was off, realized. Even if he couldn’t put his finger on it. Isak, as far as Even was able to gather at school, laughed loud and was confident. He wasn’t the kind of person who struggled with simple things, like crossing the street. But hey, anxiety hit everyone in different ways. 

 

“Can I walk with you?” 

 

Isak looked up at him, eyebrows pinched together. He thought over the question seriously, like it was a huge proposal, before nodding slowly. “Yeah,” he whispered. “You can.” 

 

The beeping started up again, and Even took hold of Isak’s elbow and lead him across the street in a few strides. When they stepped foot on the opposing sidewalk, Isak let out a gasping breath and leaned over at the waist. 

 

“Are you okay?” Even asked. 

 

Isak didn’t answer. 

 

Even knew a thing or two about being trapped in one's head, but Isak seemed to be stuck on another level.  Fisted hands shaking, sweating even though it was cold, eyes bloodshot. He wasn’t even wearing proper clothing for the weather, or carrying a bag with him for school. The one thing he had that seemed normal was a cellphone that kept ringing in his back pocket. 

 

But he wasn’t answering that, either.

 

“Isak?” Even reached out a hand hesitantly, but before he reached the man’s shoulder, Isak straightened.

 

“I need to get to school,” He said, meeting Even’s gaze. “To Nissen.” 

 

Even blinked. “Alright. Me too.” 

 

Isak nodded, once. “Can you help me get there?” 

 

Help him get there? To a place he managed to get every day, presumably by himself. No, scratch that. Definitely by himself. Even had seen Isak arrive in the courtyard multiple times, all by himself, without seeming shaken. He was capable. Was this some sort of game? 

 

No. 

 

Isak blinked a couple of times when Even stayed silent, then looked away and clenched his jaw. “Nevermind. Whatever.” 

 

“No, I’ll help!” 

 

“You don’t have to.”

 

“I want to.”

 

Isak glared up at him. “I’m not joking.”

 

“I know,” Even smiled, “I kinda thought you might’ve been though.” 

 

“I’m not.” His voice cracked, shoulders slumped. 

 

Something was wrong, and Even wasn’t going to ask what because he knew what that felt like. People prying instead of just helping you without a question. He knew what it was like to need something, but need to not be asked why. 

 

“So,” he started off towards the school, “Are you meeting up with anyone?”

 

“My best friend,” Isak quickly caught up to Even, hands shoved into his hoodie and eyes scanning the street.

 

“Brown curly hair, blonde hair, or bald head?” 

 

Isak glanced up at him, squinting. “... Brown curly hair, Jonas.” 

 

Even nodded. “I’ve seen you with them.”

 

“Oh, I thought you were just a mind reader,” He grunted.

 

“I can do that too.”

 

“Shut up.” Isak rolled his eyes. 

 

Even grinned, turning around so he faced him and walked backwards. “Right now you’re thinking… ‘This idiot can’t read my mind’, right?”

 

“How’d you guess?” Isak deadpanned. “Can you please walk normally before you fall and crack your head open.”

 

“What? No I wo-” Even was cut off by Isak grabbing him by the front of his jacket and tugging him back onto the sidewalk as the tram went by. “Shit.” 

 

Isak let out a shaky breath, holding onto Even’s jacket tighter. “Be careful.”

 

Even nodded slowly, like an idiot. Obviously something was going on with Isak and Even was only making it worse. He needed to do what he thought would make Isak happier. Anything to at least crack a smile out of the younger man. 

 

“So today I woke up early and snuck out of the house before my Mom could catch me,” He began, turning to walk normally and actually looked both ways before crossing the street with Isak glued to his side. “Which is weird, because I think I’m supposed to sneak out late at night or something to be rebellious.”

 

“Denying breakfast can be rebellion,” Isak mumbled, and Even couldn’t tell if it was a joke or not so he continued.

 

“She’s been on my case a ton recently and I don’t really know what she wants from me. I’m not really a ‘bad’ kid. I’ve never been in trouble… significantly, at least. But I feel like I’m always disappointing her.” 

 

Isak looked straight ahead, but his eyebrows pinched together in an adorable confused expression. “Okay?”

 

Even shrugged. “I’m having a tough morning.”

 

“Because you’re mom’s disappointed in you.”

 

“Exactly,” he sighed, “So I guess that’s why I’m a big weird this morning.” Even stopped, a street away from Nissen, to look directly at Isak. “How about you? Mom troubles?” 

 

Isak flinched slightly before schooling his face. “Something like that.” 

 

> **07:50**

 

As far as Even could tell, Isak seemed to love Nissen. The second they stepped foot into the courtyard, Isak sat down onto a bench and let out these gasps of air. Relieved gasps, but gasps all the same. He really didn’t seem like he thought he could make it there on his own. 

 

“When is Jonas getting here?” Even asked.

 

Isak jumped at the sound of his voice, like he’d already forgotten he was there. Even tried not to be offended by that. 

 

“Uh,” he took another deep breath. “I don’t know. I texted him, but he hasn’t answered. He’s probably sleeping, still.” 

 

Even frowned. “Did something happen?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Why do you need to talk to him before he even knows you need to talk?” Even asked, “Is this girl drama or something?”

 

Isak let out a bitter laugh, but Even was willing to count that as a win. It was the first time his mouth had even slightly curved upward. “No. It’s not a girl thing.” He paused. “Or maybe it kinda is, but… It’s mostly just a Jonas and me thing.”

 

Even felt a little twinge of jealousy, but he pushed the feeling away. “Want to talk about it?”

“Have you…” Isak glanced up at him for a second, before looking away again. “Have you ever fucked up so badly you wonder if you can ever make things right?” 

 

Yes. He had. 

 

Even sat down next to Isak. “Things can always be fixed with time.”

 

“... Time.” Isak echoed, voice cracking. “But what if you don't-”

 

“Isak!” Jonas came running across the courtyard, out of breath and clothes thrown on haphazardly. “Are you okay, bro?”

 

"I'm over people asking me that today," Isak said, a tight smile on his lips. "Can we talk?"

 

_ What if you don’t have time? _

 

Where had Even heard that before?

**Author's Note:**

> based on the world from the book "they both die at the end" by adam silvera. it's exactly what it sounds like. my apologies, kids. going to try updating every sunday.


End file.
